Institute of Film Cheddarology

About Me

Life Upon the Wicked Stage

Play(wrights) Pen

Andi's Alters

The Institute of Film Cheddarology

Hooray for Bollywood

Hong Kong FU-EEE!

Celebrity Guest Book

Hot Links

Return to the Center of AndiWorld

Email me

Shop the AndiWorld Store
at CafePress

Read my AndiWorld Blog

Find me on MySpace

The Institute of Film Cheddarology Presents The Joan Davis Memorial Film Festival The Best of the Worst Films Ever Made	Joan Davis in her heyday
Long before Mystery Science Theater 3000 appeared on Comedy Central, I was collecting bad movies. Named after that supreme example of overacting, Joan Davis of "I Married Joan" TV fame, I paid tribute to many awful filmmakers who crankeded out schlock by showing these classic stinkers at parties. Every filmfest started off with the ceremonial viewing and singalong to the opening credits of the "I Married Joan" show, followed by the best of the worst in filmdom. When I was asked to make an appearance on the local cable TV program Weird Theatre to provide critique for a screening of the Ed Wood-penned classic, The Violent Years, The Institute of Film Cheddarology was born. And that appearance on Weird Theatre also proved to be the inspiration for me to write the hit play High School Hellcats in Heels spoofing the bad movie screened on the show. As founder of this institute dedicated to the preservation and study of cheesy movies, I created the character of Dr. Frederica Weldon to point out consistently bad film-making techniques to the viewing audience. And on a subsequent episode of Weird Theatre , I decided to create another character by making Dr. Weldon unavailable to appear due to a film seminar in Quatemala. Dressed entirely in form-fitting leopard print, I appeared as the Institute's receptionist, Bettina, whose motives for working at the Institute were less altruistic than Dr. Weldon - she was hoping Roger Corman would spot her and cast her as the lead bimbo in his next low-budget epic.
Here are some of the recommended classics from The Institute's vault: PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: One of the finest examples of filmmaking at its worst, this Ed Wood masterpiece is notable for many reasons. It is most infamous as the film during which star Bela Lugosi died, prompting the ever-resourceful Ed to enlist his wife's chiropractor as Lugosi's stand-in for the remainder of the film. Ed was not the least bit perturbed by the fact that the chiropractor was a good deal taller than Lugosi and looked nothing like him; after all, he reasoned, a vampire cape can camouflage just about anything (sure, Ed...) MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE: This stinkeroo has in recent years usurped the title of worst movie ever made from the perenniel favorite PLAN 9. According to bad movie legend, this film was made to win a bet. A salesman with no movie making experience claimed he could make a successful low-budget horror movie for under 20 grand, and if success can be measured by the fact that people still talk about your film over 40 years later, then I guess he wins. Hal Warren, the salesman turned producer-writer-director-star shot the movie in El Paso without the use of audio equipment so all the dialogue was dubbed later by a couple of actors. That certainly has the makings for great-bad. And I have a Six-Degrees connection to this film; an old friend of mine, now out in LA working in TV and film, actually attended the premiere, and Benton was kind enough to provide some fond memories of MANOS as a ten year old in El Paso and going to the movie with his dad, who was in the movie: " I think I may have gotten a bit tired during the showing (knowing Manos now, it's no surprise) and maybe I dozed through some of it, but I do recall my family hustling and bustling at the end to get out of the theatre as fast as possible. As a 10 year old, I didn't know the score at the time. No matter all the hoots and catcalls going on in the audience. And it wasn't until many many years later I got a whiff of it when it first started to get a cult following, and being "the worst film ever made." My Dad was one of the only actors in the film to have his own voice in the film. Of course, not only do I recognize his voice, but I --with the whole family -- went along on a trip to Dallas in a station wagon Hal Warren rented. The reason for the trip was to do the looping for Manos at a Dallas studio. I clearly recall John Reynolds (Torgo) in the car, and his eyes getting big at one point when my Mother pulled out a big basket of fried chicken for lunch as we drove along. My grandparents (Mother's parents) had recently moved back to Fort Worth, so the trip was a double bonus to see them. I also still have the El Paso County Deputy Sheriff badge which was presented to my Father. I think this was given during the premiere. That's how big a deal all the El Paso hot shots thought this was going to be. Hal got one too which one will sometimes see mentioned in recent articles on the film, such as in Entertainment Weekly, but MY DAD was THE "sheriff" in the film... Hal had snookered a car and uniforms from EPCS and that's how the badges got awarded in the first place. So there! Now here's some more show biz trivia about that badge -- A few years ago here in LA, I auditioned for a music video called "Dirty South" being done by a Texas rap dude named TowDown. The video was an homage to "The Dukes of Hazzard". I auditioned for (and was cast as) Sheriff Roscoe. The badge I wore at the audition and in the video was the Manos badge of my Father. So much for any "Manos curse"! " THE CONQUEROR: John Wayne as Genghis Khan!?! With his rolling cowboy gait and his unique sing-song vocal delivery, Wayne was the man least likely to be believed as the head of the Mongol empire. Delivering such lines as 'She's beautiful in her wrath' with completely misplaced importance, Wayne (not to mention his ludicrous Mongolian mustache) is an unintentional laugh riot throughout the film. This was supposed to be the film that showed Wayne's range as actor—unfortunately, it did! Flame-haired Susan Hayward was equally miscast as a Tartar princess. Sadly, this film is also remembered as the film that literally caused cancer: Every major player involved on the project, from first-time director Dick Powell (yes, THAT Dick Powell) to Wayne and Hayward eventually died of cancer. It seems the location Powell picked out for the filming was the former testing ground for the atomic bomb. SHEENA, QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE: Former Charlie's Angel Tanya Roberts was banking on this movie making her a big time star. Unfortunately, her loincloth showed more acting range than she did. Running her hand through Ted Wass's chest hair, Tanya uttered lines like, "Fur? You have fur!" As for Wass, I think he was just worrying about a paycheck after he left TV's hit show Soap. This film pretty much sent Tanya's career into the dumper - and deservedly so. In a greatly ironic twist, Tanya has made something of a comeback in recent years, starring as a vapid mom on That 70's Show, which capitalizes on her status as a 70's icon and her limited acting skills for comedic effect. NIGHT OF THE GHOULS: Ed Wood's oeuvre has been a frequent Festival offering. This long-lost followup to Plan 9 From Outer Space features several familiar faces from Ed's personal repertory troupe. The plot involves a scam artist posing as a medium who bilks people by claiming to communicate with their dearly departed. Finally, the dead rise to give the phony clairvoyant a taste of his own medicine. If possible, this one is even more incompetently made than Plan 9. BRIDE OF THE MONSTER: Yes, another Wood classic. This one starred Lugosi as a mad scientist (is there any other kind?) who is finally destroyed by his creation, a giant rubber octopus. Ed wisely cast Swedish-accented wrestler Tor Johnson as the mute (and mutated) henchman of Lugosi. There are too many laughable moments to mention here, but the climactic ending where Bela struggles valiantly in the clutches of the obviously inanimate octopus is a classic. In fact, the behind-the-scenes filming of that sequence was recreated in Tim Burton's movie Ed Wood, which is a very good film about the very bad filmmaker. GLEN OR GLENDA?: Wood's thinly veiled autobiographical film gave new meaning to the word "angora." The moment where Wood's then real-life girlfriend lovingly gives her sweater to him as a gesture of acceptance has moved many an audience...to double over with laughter! Lugosi makes a cameo appearance uttering unintelligible lines like "Pull the string! Pull the string!" REEFER MADNESS and COCAINE FIENDS: What a double bill! Both films were designed to demonstrate the evils of drug use and instead showed audiences how hilarious (and, indeed, desirable) drugs could be in the hands of incompetent filmmakers. I got to live out the fantasy (or nightmare!) onstage, when I played bad girl Blanche in a live production of Reefer Madness, which proved to be a hit with critics (something the original certainly NEVER was). HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL: Another of the rebellious teenager-and-drugs flicks, this one stars Russ Tamblyn (West Side Story's "Riff", a career which dropped like a stone) as an undercover cop infiltrating a high school drug ring. Mamie Van Doren (Girls' Town, see below) plays his aunt (!) to help complete his disguise as a teenager. Future Ponderosan Michael Landon went from playing a bit part as a jock here to being a teenage werewolf in another classic stinker I Was a Teenage Werewolf. GIRLS TOWN: Who was the genius that thought Mel Tormé would be believable as a teenage gang leader? Mamie Van Doren and her two enormous talents are prominently featured as a bad girl sent to reform school run by nuns (!) for a crime she didn't commit (although she was definitely guilty of horrible acting). Paul Anka has a featured role as a young teen idol (what a stretch!) being stalked by one of the reform school girls. Father Knows Best's "Princess," Elinor Donahue, plays Mamie's little sis tempted by a bad crowd. With a cast like that, how could you go right? With such ridiculous casting and contrived plot devices, this movie is the natural inspiration for the sequel to my hit High School Hellcats in Heels. See my Playwrights page for more on my original bad movie spoofs. Of course, anything by Ray Dennis Steckler is automatically on the list (Rat Fink A-Boo-Boo, The Thrillseekers...the list goes on and on.) HOLD THAT GHOST: On the list simply because it stars none other than the self-proclaimed '50s queen of comedy, Joan Davis. An Abbott & Costello vehicle, Joan does her usual turn as a wise-cracking, broadly-acting dame spending the night in a house haunted by gangsters and ghosts. Joan demonstrates the overblown comic skills which later made her a ratings winner over another '50s comedy maven, Lucille Ball. So many bad movies, so little disk space! If you, too, can appreciate the art of the bad film, here are some sites which are far more comprehensive (and very entertaining): Sinister Cinema for the best in bad Something Weird Video has movies and t-shirts! Rhino Records has some cool Ed Wood stuff, like an angora-clad video boxed set and t-shirts The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation ("The Razzies") are tasteless movies' answer to the Oscars. Highly entertaining! Cinema Classics rivals Sinister Cinema for the obscure in the cult movie genre. Happy viewing - and laughing!

The Best of the Worst Films Ever Made